claire lillian

today tasted like summer, with the salt in the air. the music and the mood. it was beautiful, and i want to capture all of it.

in my mind, forever.

so i can fill my my basket full of picnic things and ride my bike down the river. take some polaroids. and capture the moment for this time next year, when the winter seems endless.

contentment is. so many things.

sweet and sour.

warm bodies and cold faces.

so many.

think you’re so uncomplicated, but you like being a puzzle. claiming no effort is spent on you, but you can’t return the effort. it’s like a tug of war. undermining games, self confessed; you verbally hate, secretely love. it will always be like this.

but i’m not waiting for something different or anymore. i’m not waiting at all.

to say you’ll do everything to make me happy.

and you can’t even do that.

a funny thing.

1. instincts. trust your gut feelings.

2. she is strong, i know she’ll be fine.

3. do i have to spell it out to him?

4. continuing could be the end.

5. ah there is too much to list.

today was refreshing,

beers with two decent souls, that i don’t see enough of.

but in some ways, they are special because of this.

passing time together.

i’m allowed to feel like this..

and it feels like a piece of me just died.

i wonder how long we can feed from other individuals

wishing

pleading to be more like him, more like her.

to be true.

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word.

what am i gonna do when i run out of room for new tattoos.

a bit of yours,

a bit of mine.

i wonder how long it’s got

and when will it burn out.

mostly, i fear what you say with open honesty.

when i know, you’re not even in a moment of clarity.